Bondage...

" ...my bondage for family..just grips my heart...i was walking back home yesterday...in the cold snowy melted path...just a thought of my mom and dad leaving back home...weakened me...suddenly my boots has so heavy..visions of my home and family is flashing...as i hang on...
..one is for sure...if there is point where i have to leave my goals for my family..i will sure...deep inside my heart..it will hurt of not being to do what i wanted to do..to reach a great position to reach my goals..
..but i guess i will find a alternative route !...but my family is all it counts...anything for them "...

..missing home..missing my mom coffee...the wonderful sunset..the beach..dads morning prayers..fight with my sister...affectionate people..missing them all...

veerabahu

Chuck!!! - Wonder baby

Chuck is a 2 weeks baby...between moms legs...in lion safari...

crossroads

..its lil chill today..+12 c..good to see +..hahah...

-> Cloud no 9..bryan adams background...gonna make some coffee abt this...

..yeah we were talking about crossroads...my goals have been very demanding....it has just hit me in the softest part..i am away from my family which i hate too...if i walk towards my goals...the time lost away from my family is huge...see its interlinked..if i come do well my family is in better position..and but i lose the time with them...which is damn precious for me...lets see how this puzzle resolves...i havent spent much time on my personal side ...its been my towardsbetterworld group and tech side...

lets see ..how it ..goes...!..time to make coffee..see ya..

Cooking adventures !!! :) - Brinjal sambar

Man you are wonderful! yep i need to say that to myself..hahaha..

After years of hardwork...and tireless working..i achieved "The sambar "..i am offically announced that i am cook!!!..hahah..

As always with my cooking adventures...my first villain is my pressure cooker...it looked like this time also he will open his emergency valve...thank god it didnt happen..i poured lot of water..i made a calculation error in fluid dynamics to understand dal..

Equation= one dal of anything = 2* of water of same anything..so it works..

Patent : All u guys who do reverse engineering...i have a patent on bringal sambar..u cant do anything now!...hahah..

story continues as i do..fried rice!!!..hhahah...oooohh...heeheh...

love,
veerabahu

Mahler symphony 3 -Toronto symphony orchestra at Roy thomson hall

"Wonderful...what a composition!!!...the first movement was really breath taking....all the little knowledge i had on antimatter and matter creation on physics came into picture..the first movement is about the creation...really wonderful...i guess i cld see kitaro style of composition...yeah..yeah,,mahler comes first in time :)...

..the hall was awe feeling :) ...once the symphony start i was sounding beautiful....later movements saw choir into picture nearly 60 girls..and total more than 100..playing symphony before me...sounded just great....

..movements about love was something that made in feel in was paradise...just closed my eyes to feel it...

..cheers..

Joe satriani!!!-18-10-2008

I went to joe satriani concert!!-at massey hall . I have never been to live performance to heavy metal thing . It was extremely intense .

It was more of a thunderstorm striking you repeatedly for 2 hrs...very good experience...

I was happy for more than 2 yrs i have been listening to his work-especially "made of tears "..so good to see him live..

cheers,
veerabahu

A walk in the park - A nomadic one :)..engulfed by beauty..

i love a nomadic one...dont know where we are ..where are going..but keep walking...

i wanted to spend a evening in this park...forgot place..after up down..down up..journey in bus..i found the park!

Oh my god...beauty was breath taking..a stream in the park ! what...we could never imagine sucha a beauty ..weather was something around 5 to 10 degrees...

at that time..it looked i was all alone in the park..whole beauty was for me!...

it was sucha wonderful experience...so peaceful..it was fall ending..i have never seen anything like that..

i just saw a couple...they had selected sucha a wonderful place to spend time...its always good to see ppl falling in love...its a just a glance...

but all my concentration was on the trees...i could touch them...hug them...feel those wonderful leaves...but felt trees were feeling pain...as they shed their leaves...may be they got used to the pain..it should be hard for them,the winter i mean..as we find it hard...

...beautiful evening to remember...

cheers,
veerabahu

Missed deepavali for the first time in my life

Oh god!... a damn feeling of missing home on a deepavali..

..sound of crackers...getting up early in the morning..quick quick take oil bath...lil coffee..all excited run to burst crackers!..the atmosphere oh wow..the build up to the deepavali is so wonderful...amma,appa,kalai...all our family members..it sucha a great feeling...

on this day...in canada..just woke up..shifted my place from hotel to new home..the run back to office for a meeting...finish the stuff and back home late..not even a visit to temple...

all the years of deepavali was flashing in my memory..i remember the one of the deepavali..where i was training with my taekwondo team in the beach..i was 11 yrs old..

.on the sparring...a fight in martial art...i had to fight two guys in a beautiful location..waves hitting ur knee...sun slowly rising...

i remember the moment..its mandatory we have to keep both of them in around 135 degrees vision..i just lost track of one guy...i tried a round house kick on one...and next second..i received a straight scissor kick on my upper lip from another guy...it tore and i was bleeding heavy..ironically i was first to bring that kick in our dojo..the double edged sword hit me back...which i had used successful to bring down few ppl..
i fought well that day even though i had received a major blow...

..then my father and me..came back home...crackers we burstin everywhere..most of the morning was over..but sacrifice was needed to learn something..i had to sacrifice few hours of my deepavali for my taekwondo...after 10 years..i received a black belt..

now i am 28 ...i have missed a complete deepavali..away from family... :(((((

cheers,
veerabahu

Damn i am back!

...oh yeah..lot of things happened..i wanted to it pen it down..my sister marriaged was wonderful..

..all of sudden ..my career was opening up...got offer from Robert bosch...and another choice to work in Ivedha,canada...so i took the latter..ending up in toronto ...

Bachelor's guide :)

Tip 1] Cleanliness is next to godliness

First time home setting:If you are half human and half monkey like me..best is to ask to anybody from other gender to set things right for you..those gender ppl are perfectionist..god has created them like that..and me like this...

Tip 2] A tiring day comes to end!ahh ass pains to cook

Sorry guys u have to!

Tip 3] Feeling alone !

If you live alone like me...sometimes u might feel alone..

How wonderfully it wld be to have a beautiful girl near you..soothing words and warm hug--->> SNAP OFF OF YOUR DREAMS..REALIZE THERE IS NOBODY...GET BACK TO REALITY guys hahahahaa!!!...clothes to wash...research to do..get up...yeah u are alone!so what!..start to enjoy ur own companionship and love it!...hahah...sorry thats the truth..may be hard ..


I really hate ppl saying and gettin depressed .."i am feeling alone " ...jackass god has created you beautifully and you lose urself ...and in turn lose the interconnection with the world..find urself..u will find everything!..way to go tiger :)..

god! i need strength..

" its 1 am in the morning...still in office..as the goals are getting clearer..and visions brightening..i understand the hurdles..god give me strength...i need to carry on"...

hahaha--how it feels when ur petrol runs dry at midnight

"Its 2 am...i was returning from office around 12.30 am petrol ran dry..hahahha...different feeling..no petrol..and even police caught me to check my license..its was interesting to push my bike in the middle of the night :)..i liked when i pushed it over a fly over and ..down the slope...:)..good experience..i had petrol bunk in 1 km and its was over...i wanted to write this down before i sleep..

Listening: Yanni-To Take..To hold [really wonderful to hear in the middle of night ]...

gonna sleep now..good night :) ..."

my friend :)

This fellow has been around with me for a longtime..quite different has sand in his bums as to sit erect hahahah!:)

Visions up! !!

..yeah ..my visions are up and batteries are charging...mind just got a bit working...

..after the conversation with Prof.Sankai and Prof.Suzuki...i might be modifying my proposal towards artifical limb -Brain to machine interface -instead of a wheelchair..that helps the people better than a wheelchair..

my dream is to start a lab working basically on brain to machine interface ->cyborgs,artifical limbs and modified HAL robots...i will start with a small move ..hopefully ..gods grace..

i hope i can start early i must thank my friends mannan and jhelum for their ideas..providing bit of push towards that...

..i am looking at CNC machines in the other end..i am looking at this ..in the immediate future..

..hopefully..hopefully..

:(

..my mind was sparking..huge energy found...i was feeling very strong....

..just got a call my mom was unwell..my goodness everything just went off..just like switching off ur lights...everything became dark....i lost every bit of my strength..i had rush back home..my sister flew in...its quite difficult phase for me coming few weeks...

..within few days i had a big battle on hand...i had to leave home and reach my place in bangalore for tht...my eyes were filled ..as a lone warrior held his sword ...with a heart of heaviness..i just felt nothing...in a such a state of pain where nothing really affects...

..but i had to fight the battle..i just kept trying...just trying...for i knew that if i cld win the battle its for my ppl...

..so i keep going...trying...trying..under whatever situation..

The curse of being strong...

..its like holding a huge rock and unable to share the weight with anybody..possibly we dont want anybody to risk...and ..when a pain comes..others think ..its fine he can handle it...sometimes its very hard...when ur heart bleeds..strength dips..mind slows down...there is no other go than to hold on..and fight it out...
..there is the real spring of energy when the last breathe to hold on is taken in...i dont know from where it comes from...quite phenomenal ..as the rock is thrown away..and we have a mountain of rocks to clear the path for ourself and for others....

..burn urself as much as u can for others...and for a work from which u dont except anything...something beyond materialistic world and something far more superior energy will be part of u...

Strength to see life in the claws of death..

..life is all about pushing oneself towards their dreams and goals to the limit...and with every limit the risk of death increases...and with every victory one sees more of life in it than death...

..dream as much as you can..acheive those dreams dont let it fade away for they are precious..it needs hardwork...and the success,victory and quest to workhard itself will become a need for you like air that you breathe..it generates huge amount of energy that keeps one going and going..

..for a single manifestation of the flow will be elixir of life..where one starts to strive to quench the elixir of life again and again...goes on...

Hip hop!!!

Something i cant do in my life..dance!!! :)..watch this...oh my god..the girl in the white shirt dances beautiful!!!..what a flow in her movements..of course the guy in hat..but the girl had real quality and attitude

Applications of chinese kunfu to real life-switch on speakers!

...What it feels to decline something u wanted all your life...

Its been sometime since i have spoken..and ofcourse i am making the blog open..i am thinking of sharing some information...

I was invited to japan by university of tsukuba...more than anything Prof.Sankai had personally signed my invite...its such a honour for me...from my child hood i have worked all alone..questioning and reasoning so many things..i had taken sucha great risk in choosing brain to machine interface as master thesis..thing is nobody was there to guide me..i had to work so hard..to learn electronics and science..to implement certain things...

..and i am just a ordinary dust particle before everybody to recognize my work and invite me..i feel so honored...thank you god for giving me sucha a life filled with love,respect,knowledge and honor...

..there were two interviews..one for research assistantship(RA) and another for PHD...i cldnt get thru RA for i didnt have experience ..but got my PHD admit in the university of tsukuba...and i didnt get in cybernics dept...one of the reason for not taking my PHD...

..mind u this is my dream!!!! imagine doing PHD in japan wow!...in robotics :)!..

..money is quite important in life..i didnt get a scholarship i really cldnt take a risk as i took in my masters where three years was so difficult so was it after i came out..still i have not recovered...

..doing my PHD in a similar way ..living is so costly in japan i really cant afford such a thing..i cant even a year...actually it was right forward for me..if i dont get scholarship i am not going..i didnt know if i cld get if i go there...

only now..thinking..instead of sitting at 10.30 pm at office on a holiday writing a c code.. makes me think..shld have i taken???...

..thats painfull...really painful.....i cldnt afford straight forward...god!i touched it..god! i touched it...still i cldnt hold on...

i remember when i was the captain of my football in college..in the semifinals..i missed a shot just over the cross bar..game went into penalty and we lost...

..i remember those painful moments...so as losing people...so thats how it is..what it feels to decline something you wanted all your life...

..in search of my destiny

Longtime ahh! :)...its really a dream come true for me as i was invited to Japan to present my project proposal and possibly my Phd ..six more hours i am off from bangalore...i never thought i would leave chennai a year ago..here i am very next year for Japan for another battle..

..bottomline i want to do something for my society with my ideas..i hope and wish that i can..

see you then...bye..
veerabahu